My mom: The greatest PR agent anyone needs

My dad told my mom Saturday night he wanted to go to the movies. She asked him if he was crazy because the Rangers were playing Game 7. If you don’t understand who I am, here lies the perfect example of how I turned out to be who I am.

A lot of people focus on how I’m similar to my dad. I have the Italian temper (although my fuse is far longer than his, thankfully), I have the Mediterreanian tone to my looks, I have a love for science and deep understanding for math. Oh and we both can be pretty stubborn (which leads to most of his and my arguing). But people easily miss how I’m very much like my mom. She’s always quick to help someone with a smile. She’s always turning a smile to the world even if she’s not feeling so hot on the inside. I get my creativity from her too (although I cannot sew a lick like she can).

And my mom is the biggest cheerleader anyone could ever have.

Back in 2009, there was some major press swirling about Patch, many of which featured me. Leading the way as an article in Newsweek, but the Star-Ledger also wrote a story that prominently featured me. Of course I was proud, but my mother was even more proud. She was carrying around a copy of Newsweek and the Star-Ledger’s business section for weeks. In fact, the copies may still be in her purse. And her conversation with most people started with “Oh, hi, how are you doing? Did you know Jennifer was in Newsweek? No? Well, I just have a copy right here.”

Honestly, it’s kind of embarrassing when my mom does something like that (wasn’t the first time, but it’s the most prominent example). Of course, every child feels that way when their mother starts pumping them up to other people. But her actions come from a place of love and pride, and I’ve come to realize that as I’ve gotten older.

And everyone needs a good cheerleader in their lives who will overlook all of your faults and pump you up. It helps you build confidence and it helps you reach for your dreams, no matter what they are. My mom’s been that force in my life. I don’t know what I’d ever do without her, and I’m lucky she’s still her. I wouldn’t be the person I am or have achieved everything I have without her.

Thanks, Mom. And happy Mother’s Day.

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Thank you for your outpouring of support

After I posted my piece about my depression issues, I e-mailed a friend who also suffers from her own issues. She ismuch more open about her health status than I ever could be, and I have so much respect for her. She asked me if I felt freer and better about my own health having opened up about it. I concluded I couldn’t really say I did or not until I got reaction from people other than my close friends (all of whom said they were proud of me).

And, boy, did I get a reaction. Yesterday was the biggest day for traffic on my little blog, and a bunch of new people followed me on Twitter or subscribed to my Facebook page. But it wasn’t the traffic that touched me. It was the blog comments, tweets, Facebook comments and e-mails. Some of it was very public, but a lot more was private. It took me from being scared about opening up to being proud that I did and happy I touched some people.

A few people have said I’m brave for putting my mental health status out there, but I don’t really see it that way. There are people out there with far bigger, severe issues than me who face up to their demons every day and win.

One of the reasons I took the road to journalism and have stuck with it so long is so I could make a difference, and I have done that in many ways throughout my career. I’ve always wanted to help people. I hope that’s what I did yesterday in some way by opening up, and I hope my intended book project also does that (and if you want to be involved, please drop me a line).

Like I said yesterday, I’m always here to talk if you need someone (my e-mail is jenconnic@gmail.com). It doesn’t even need to be about depression. It can be about anything from the weather to baseball to music. I know it’s good to have someone to just talk about things sometimes, to listen.

And, again, thank you everyone. I really am touched by so many people. It made me feel so much better about my decision to open up. And now we’ll return to our regularly scheduled blathering about journalism, writing, photography, social media and more.

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Not living in silence: Opening up about my depression issues

Any mention of suicide in the news breaks my heart for a variety of reasons. There’s going to be a lot of pain for that family. But I also know the victim went through all-consuming pain and torture leading up to those final moments. And there probably was a lot of pain for the people around the victim too.

The commercials say depression hurts, and it’s not far off. Depression does hurt, for many people. More than a quarter of Americans suffer some sort of mental disorder each year, according to National Institute of Health statistics. And 35,000 Americans committed suicide in 2007. Beyond that, families and friends suffer along with those with mental health disorders.

But despite the numbers there doesn’t seem to be an understanding of mental health issues. There is no better way to see it than when there’s a prominent suicide case, like Junior Seau yesterday. As soon as the news broke, I saw people saying on social media he and others who commit suicide are selfish. And still others show a lack of understanding in how debilitating depression can be.

I’ve suffered some form of depression since I was 26 years old, almost a decade, perhaps longer. My father has been suffering from similar problems since I was 16 years old. I know both sides of the story of depression as someone who suffers and as someone who has watched a loved one battle it. For many years I’ve lived in silence about what I suffer through, although my friends and family know quite well about my struggles. People just don’t understand.

There are days where I feel like I’m swimming with no life raft in site, and this is despite being on medication right now. I have been on and off of medication since I was 26, and I have coping mechanisms for dealing with those terrible days. Usually it circles around talking with the people I care about (and they understand this and are awesome people for just listening too) or just burying myself in work or something creative. Photography, writing and more aren’t just things I enjoy. They also are coping mechanisms and have been for a long time.

But you would never know from the outside how much I can suffer because I hide it because people don’t understand. You get told to snap out of it, which anyone who suffers from a mental illness knows isn’t possible. Or, worse, people judge you. And in this business, that is a scary prospect. Journalism is an anti-depressant of sorts and saved me at some of my worst moments. I have done some of my best work in some of the worst times in my life. But I worry people will judge me and not hire me or want to work with me because I have depression. I fear the stigma.

It’s why I appreciate when someone takes a stand on depression and want to educate people. I’ve been following Michael Silver’s Twitter feed today and how he is taking such a stand, for example. Many thanks to him for doing so.

And I want to be part of the solution too in educating people on depression issues. I’ve been talking about writing a book about people like me — those of us who suffer from these problems every day but are able to live a full life. We have a disease, yes, but we don’t let it rule our lives. We are journalists, accountants, engineers and even professional athletes. I want every chapter of this book to be someone’s story. If you want to be involved with this, I’d love to hear from you.

And even if you don’t want to be involved in my book project, I am here to talk. Talking helps me, and I’m sure it helps others. If you ever need someone just to listen, don’t hesitate. I am here. I suffer too, and you don’t need to do it alone or live in silence.

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